18 Fails From Last Week That Will Make You Laugh So Hard You Can Tell Your Doctor You Did Cardio

    I really, really need to know what that DoorDash driver sent.

    Another week, another Monday. Just when are we, as a society, going to do something about this? While we wait on science to figure out how to stop the passage of time, here are 18 of the best internet fails from this past week to keep you going:

    1. It was...just a test. And...you passed!

    I was ridin with my dude, looked at his car screen and one of the locations saved was “Nicole’s House”. I tried to look away but had to ask, who tf was Nicole… He responded confused so I accused him of gaslighting me. Whole time it was my phone plugged in. Nicole is my cousin.😅

    — Kori 🫶🏾🪬 (@koriiiigurl) October 13, 2024
    Twitter: @koriiiigurl

    2. The triceratops also has a frill, maybe go with that?

    4yo has never been overly original in toy-naming; his T. Rex is named Rexy, his stegosaurus is Steggy, his triceratops is Triceratopsy, his stuffed dog is Puppy. He now has a new triceratops and to differentiate between the two has decided to invoke the animal's prominent horn.

    — Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) October 13, 2024
    Twitter: @sewistwrites

    3. You may have won, but at what cost?

    think this ramen spot was teasing with how many noodles they gave me. a comical amount. “there’s no way you can eat all that.” well, guess what. I did. and now I don’t feel good

    — sarah (@sablaah) October 16, 2024
    Twitter: @sablaah

    4. Is this directed at me?

    takeout container for pad see ew with tofu almost pissed me off… pic.twitter.com/rnHQ7PQvld

    — hal (@tinned__fish) October 15, 2024
    Twitter: @tinned__fish

    5. Please don't give me any more good advice.

    hate to admit it, but the “go to the gym in the morning & enjoy the rest of your day” people were right.

    — full-snack developer 🇭🇹 (@notdanilu) October 16, 2024
    Twitter: @notdanilu

    6. Sorry, but I simply cannot run that security update.

    But these are my emotional support open tabs in my browser.

    — your other spooky mom (@difficultpatty) October 16, 2024
    Twitter: @difficultpatty

    7. But the charcuterie board will be worth it.

    Financially speaking, what happened in the cheese section at the fancy new supermarket today can never happen again

    — Jonathan Edward Durham (@thisone0verhere) October 16, 2024
    Twitter: @thisone0verhere

    8. The dog days of employment.

    He truly is his father’s son, he loves being on the computer and having an existential crisis pic.twitter.com/lou0jhmjOi

    — Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) October 17, 2024
    Twitter: @PatrickLenton

    9. What a lovely gift.

    Every year on my birthday my daughter asks how old I am and then cries and tells me she doesn’t want me to die so that’s a fun tradition

    — Katie D (@KatieDeal99) October 15, 2024
    Twitter: @KatieDeal99

    10. Well it's not fiber, I can tell you that.

    found this in my mans bag… what is he eatinggggg?!? pic.twitter.com/9hiMESKPOp

    — PISS KINK (@mummymelkers) October 16, 2024
    Twitter: @mummymelkers

    11. Not now, Siri.

    At the urinal in an I-95 rest stop bathroom:

    Siri’s voice (from my back pocket): Turn left.

    Man to the left of me: Please don’t.

    — The Dad Briefs (@SladeWentworth) October 17, 2024
    Twitter: @SladeWentworth

    12. Pardon me while I step through the VLOOKUP portal.

    Trying to make a spreadsheet and think I accidentally created a new dimension

    — meghan (@deloisivete) October 16, 2024
    Twitter: @deloisivete

    13. The soundtrack of middle age.

    My 13yo: What was that crunching sound? Are you eating something?

    Me: It was my joints. From standing up.

    — Hollie Harris (@allholls) October 16, 2024
    Twitter: @allholls

    14. It was nothing, really.

    My 4yo told me this morning his class does "weekend news". "I probably won't say anything today, we didn't do anything this weekend". We just drove to Pennsylvania, stayed at Cartoon Network Hotel, and went to a theme park which on Sat he described as "the best day of his life".

    — Lucy Huber (@clhubes) October 15, 2024
    Twitter: @clhubes

    15. I must be informed if any of your dishes contain bees.

    waiter: are there any allergies at the table?

    me (already drunk): BEES

    — kim (@KimmyMonte) October 17, 2024
    Twitter: @KimmyMonte

    16. The true definition of community.

    just lost my phone down the back of a bench seat at a steak house in sapporo and the entire restaurant stopped to help the owner unscrew the seat from the wall. when they found my phone everyone clapped. i apologised & bowed like the gaijin from Shogun. never kill yourself.

    — Gabriel (@gbrl_dick) October 15, 2024
    Twitter: @gbrl_dick

    17. I don't want to see it, but I also...kind of want to see it?

    My dasher delivered my food and then apparently sent me something so obscene they refunded me pic.twitter.com/4W9DHdbaLU

    — (っ◔◡◔)っ 🪄✨ Matty 🧸✨ (@dilfmage) October 17, 2024
    Twitter: @dilfmage

    18. And finally...this is the kind of gambling I can get behind.

    whos in town tonight? beers on me pic.twitter.com/u3JpzQhKUB

    — johnny🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 (@bcfcjohnny) October 16, 2024
    Twitter: @bcfcjohnny
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