I'm Dying Laughing At These 34 Unfiltered Things People Were Brave Enough To Post On The Internet This Month So Far
"Whenever someone hops on a Zoom meeting and is like, 'Sorry, I look like such a mess, haven’t had my coffee!' or like, 'Please excuse the lighting!' It’s like...babe...I’m physically incapable of not staring at my own reflection for this entire meeting. You don’t even exist to me."
We're more than halfway through ~spooky season~, but there have already been a ton of amazing jokes from Twitter this month! There's no way you'll read all of these without cackling like a witch. Enjoy!
And follow the accounts that made you laugh so your Twitter timeline will be even better!
1.
donʼt ask me for relationship advice. i went back to the same person 17 times
— jynx (@jynxbby) October 16, 2024
2.
Good Lord, you licked the box clean. https://t.co/mVCrLDMSOW
— le’Giza (@Givenkazeni) October 15, 2024
3.
Seeing a Cybertruck really does ruin your day. Because wtf is that
— petite barbie. (@joigabrielle) October 16, 2024
4.
Is it fall or winter?! pic.twitter.com/eW5MF7fhap
— #BreonnaTaylor, MSW (@Stea1TH_06) October 16, 2024
5.
i laughed out loud pic.twitter.com/tBfdctK44G
— elle (@itselleokay) October 15, 2024
6.
Why Nobody told me Top Golf was $100 tf I look like Tiger Woods??
— landonfrostt (@starcosmetics2) October 11, 2024
8.
Whenever someone hops on a Zoom meeting and is like “Sorry I look like such a mess, haven’t had my coffee!” or like”Please excuse the lighting!” it’s like….babe….I’m physically incapable of not staring at my own reflection for this entire meeting. You don’t even exist to me
— Meg (@megannn_lynne) October 11, 2024
9.
driving and conversing in the car with my child then she says “simon says just drive don’t talk” 🙃🙃🙃gagged tf out of me
— Zonnique (@Zonnique) October 10, 2024
10.
i was gonna tip but i saw u laughing w that other table im sure they got u 👍🏾
— xavier (@nahimdifferent) October 11, 2024
11.
messaged someone on grindr and didn’t hear back and then 10 mins later they’ve changed their name to ‘MASC ONLY’ pic.twitter.com/TwBAOVjaV1
— domlzz again (@domlzz) October 9, 2024
12.
me with $47 in my account: yall wanna go to dinner? get some drinks??
— jojo (@_jwigz) October 8, 2024
13.
The difference between 180° and 360° be whooping y’all ass!
— No. (@GeoNeonPeach) October 5, 2024
14.
Nature is regressing 😍 pic.twitter.com/BzaQdWPihL
— zayzaysworld (@f4iryluvrr) October 16, 2024
16.
not invited to something i did not want to go to with people i do not like pic.twitter.com/j3M8ZqRDMU
— jo (@cowboypraxis) October 13, 2024
17.
last night i was serving this 3 top (two guys and one lady) and on god every time one of the guys would get up to go to the bathroom she’d start making out with the other
— brecht apologist (@madisontayt_) October 6, 2024
18.
why my dad on facebook talking about “who daughter can i take out to eat” BITCH YOURS! I HAVENT SEEN YOU IN 7 YEARS
— hbk (@hbkraee) October 4, 2024
19.
I should quit my job to focus on cooking dinner
— Katie 🐝 (@kayteebee99) October 16, 2024
20.
chest hair is boy cleavage, never think they don’t know exactly what they’re doing when they’re showing it
— Maizie ⭐️ (@postboob) October 7, 2024
21.
Gays running to the smoking area when a song by Ed Sheeran comes on in a gay bar
— Meh (@Spilling_The_T) October 9, 2024
pic.twitter.com/Rpvmx3AJPh
22.
You ever walked outside and ain’t see yo car
— Ciggest 4 (@deemtfmoney) October 8, 2024
23.
me after bottoming for a hour: https://t.co/BH9w2aWHSb
— joshua. (@livingthroughJ) October 15, 2024
24.
me when someone asks me what i have in my “rari” pic.twitter.com/xvM6pWWfcK
— doomer (@uncledoomer) October 8, 2024
25.
told dentist i bought a electric toothbrush and he asked what end i used pic.twitter.com/OSuNBRpLVt
— •ᴗ- (@evadentz) October 7, 2024
26.
I wish coworkers would fight in the bathrooms like in middle school
— $ (@Hnzdz) October 7, 2024
27.
if i have a baby with my man and we break up he gotta take the baby
— ᛕꪖíꪶꪖ (@piinkmink_) October 5, 2024
28.
every time I'm at the dentist with my BITE ME inner lip tattoo I got at 19 pic.twitter.com/QqZ5sALj7p
— mariana (@pastapilled) October 4, 2024
29.
I was in the library brushing my beard and another student turned his head 360° like an owl, looked me dead in my eyes, and said he "thought somebody was raking leaves".... does college have HR?? pic.twitter.com/y7wS6wvfK6
— $aint $mith 🕊 (@SaintSmith_) October 3, 2024
30.
Yes i have a mom https://t.co/CBecM4cImu
— Grip Bayless✨ (@talleyberrybaby) October 2, 2024
31.
Actually it’s pronounced “jaslight” - you’ve been saying it wrong the whole time
— Stone Cold Jane Austen (@AbbyHiggs) October 2, 2024
32.
me watching any reality tv show: what type of PTO do y'all got
— . (@kingbealestreet) October 2, 2024
33.
29 yea told man btw pic.twitter.com/G5baKIAsVK
— lux (@lamegff) October 1, 2024
34.
brat single-handedly undid four decades of D.A.R.E.
— Andiamo (@awejones) October 15, 2024